Yo mama's so fat...........

[BillyBob]

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls a$$, she has to make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls a$$, she has friends come help.

Yo mama' so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her forearm, neck, and thigh!

Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.

Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say:

"Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.

Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.

Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.

Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning.

Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.

Yo mama's so fat, her a$$ has it's own zip code.

Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.

Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat a$$ out of the way.

Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.

Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.

Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.

Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."

Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.

Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.

Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.

Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.

Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD."

Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball.

Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."



[This message has been edited by BillyBob (edited September 03, 2000).]

[COLORMECLONE]

Yo Mamma's so fat,her nickname is DAMN.

[9dodge]

Yo mama's so old that the key on Ben Franklins kite was the key to her apartment!

[COLORMECLONE]

Yo mammys so hairy,she looks like she got BUCKWHEAT in a head lock!

[BillyBob]

Yo mama's so dumb she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops
Yo mama's so dumb she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo mama's so dumb she sat on TV & watched the couch
Yo mama's so dumb she thought St Ides was a Catholic church.
Yo mama's so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so dumb she took a spoon to the Super Bowl
Yo mama's so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama's so dumb that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama's so dumb, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Yo mama's so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
Yo mama's so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so dumb, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo mama's so dumb, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo mama's so stupid at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagitarius.
Yo mama's so stupid he got a part time job painting skittles
Yo mama's so stupid instead of taking 4 bus she took the 2 bus twice
Yo mama's so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Mins
Yo mama's so stupid on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911
Yo mama's so stupid she asked for a price check at the 99 cent store
Yo mama's so stupid she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levis?"
Yo mama's so stupid she jumped out the window and went up
Yo mama's so stupid she said "what's that letter after x" and i said Y she said "cause I wana know"
Yo mama's so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.
Yo mama's so stupid she studied for blood test & failed.
Yo mama's so stupid she thought BOYZ2MEN was a daycare center.
Yo mama's so stupid she thought hamburger helper came with another person
Yo mama's so stupid she thought meow mix was a record for cats
Yo mama's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on soul train
Yo mama's so stupid she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
Yo mama's so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
Yo mama's so stupid that she go hit by a parked car.
Yo mama's so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama's so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Yo mama's so stupid that she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Yo mama's so stupid when she saw "under 17 not admitted" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama's so stupid when Yo dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen her since.
Yo mama's so stupid, she asked You "What is the number for 911".
Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where You pay Yo telephone bill.

[BillyBob]

Yo mama's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama's so ugly had to get her baby drunk just so she could breastfeed.
Yo mama's so ugly her face is closed on weekends!
Yo mama's so ugly her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel
Yo mama's so ugly I took her to haunted house and she came out with a job application
Yo mama's so ugly I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "thanks for bringing her back
Yo mama's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo mama's so ugly just after she was born, her mama'said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it
Yo mama's so ugly she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
Yo mama's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
Yo mama's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock!
Yo mama's so ugly she has to trick or treat over the phone
Yo mama's so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo mama's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo mama's so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo mama's so ugly she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back
Yo mama's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so ugly that Yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama's so ugly the doctor is still smacking her ass
Yo mama's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama's so ugly the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train
Yo mama's so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Yo mama's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo mama's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo mama's so ugly they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
Yo mama's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo mama's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama's so ugly they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty
Yo mama's so ugly when she passes by a bathoom the toilet flushes.
Yo mama's so ugly when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.
Yo mama's so ugly when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
Yo mama's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born the doctor smacked everYone.
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born, her mama'saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born, the doctor slapped HER mama!
Yo mama's so ugly Yo dad first met her at the pound
Yo mama's so ugly You could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies
Yo mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with slingshots.
When Yo mama was born they had to take her out of the trash can cause doctor said "Throw this shi_ away!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[BillyBob]

Yo mama's so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo mama's so greasy she sweats crisco
Yo mama's so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid
Yo mama's so greasy when she slid into second she ended in detroit
Yo mama's so hairy Bigfoot takes pictures of her
Yo mama's so hairy her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock
Yo mama's so hairy looks like a chia pet with a sweater on
Yo mama's so hairy she has afros on her nipples
Yo mama's so nasty she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles
Yo mama's so nasty she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
Yo mama's so nasty I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection
Yo mama's so nice she'd give me the hair off her back
Yo mama smells like hot ass on a cold day.
Yo mama smells so bad her Sure deodorant is confused and her Secret told on her.
Yo mama's so stank she made Right Guard go left, Speed Stick slow down and Ban come off strike
Yo mama's so stank that her shi_ is glad to escape.
Yo mama's so stank, you're like Shaquille O'Neal, You don't fake the funk!!
Yo mama's so stanky she gets sourdough yeast infections
Yo mama's drawers are so funky the roaches check in but they don't check out




[This message has been edited by BillyBob (edited September 06, 2000).]

[scredneck]

yo mama's so fat, if she burned her bra it solve the world's energy problems.

yo mama's so fat, her breasts look like two watermelons in a downhill race.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks away, it looks like two hippos wrestling under a tent.