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  #1  
Old 09-14-2000, 04:47 PM
Mopargirl Mopargirl is offline
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Ok, there are so many top ten signs I figured I would post them under the same topic. So here we go... *warning* some of them might be dirty.
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Old 09-14-2000, 04:48 PM
Mopargirl Mopargirl is offline
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TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

7. Fat clothes

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

3. Eyelash curlers

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

1. OTHER WOMEN


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Old 09-14-2000, 04:49 PM
Mopargirl Mopargirl is offline
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TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH
10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
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Old 09-14-2000, 04:51 PM
Mopargirl Mopargirl is offline
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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.

1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.


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Old 09-14-2000, 04:53 PM
Mopargirl Mopargirl is offline
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TOP TEN SONG TITLES ON THE POPE'S NEW ALBUM

10. Girls Just Want To Be Nuns

9. Wind Beneath My Vestments

8. Pretty Fly (For A Celibate Guy)

7. A Whiter Shade Of Robe

6. Exactly Like A Virgin

5. Sistine Candles

4. Take This Job And Read It

3. Gettin' Popey Wit It

2. God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On Me

1. Papa's Got A Brand New Encyclical
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Old 09-14-2000, 04:54 PM
Mopargirl Mopargirl is offline
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TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6. It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

5. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the morning after.

1. You can do the whole neighborhood.

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Old 09-15-2000, 06:11 AM
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95redsport 95redsport is offline
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The golf one is good. I've actually said some of those!
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Old 09-15-2000, 11:52 AM
BillyBob BillyBob is offline
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MoparGirl have you ever been trick-or-treating????
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