Calling in sick.........

[BillyBob]

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitten. Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower, when I heard my wife call me from the kitchen. "Fred! The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it," "You know where 'on' is," I protested through the shower. "Reset it yourself!" "C'mon," she pleaded, "it'll only take a second." So out I came dripping wet and buck naked. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the switch. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, our new kitty began clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and at precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. Now, when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Hey, not even a well-trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a calm and rational manner. Rearing straight up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent and the impact knocked me cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter. At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about the bandage around my head. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" they asked? I longed to say to them..... "Not even close!"