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Old 10-17-2000, 12:11 AM
BillyBob BillyBob is offline
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This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night. After a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. One Thursday, she's playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. "Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time." She dashes out of her friend's house; her great hand forgotten on the table.

When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time. There is enough time to go to the supermarket and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf, just as her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it!

"Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day, yum!" And that night, they had sex for the first time in months and it was great.

Needless to say, every Thursday from then on, she made this dinner for her husband. She tells her bridge cronies about it and they are all horrified.

"You're going to kill him," they'd all say.

Two months later, her husband died and all the bridge women the Thursday after the funeral attacked our new widow for being so callous. "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"

The wife stoically replied, "Ahh, I didn't kill him. He fell off the mantle while he was licking his rear."
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Old 02-23-2001, 02:49 AM
PRO PRO is offline
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pretty funny
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Old 02-24-2001, 01:44 PM
Tim_K Tim_K is offline
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Speaking of cats, I have two boys (cats) that are 7-1/2 months old, and have figured out why cats are always so calm and relaxed. They can lick their own B@%%s. Unlike us, they don't need a woman to do it for them. So they are much more independent, and don't have to put up with all the BS that goes with having a woman around, like anniversaries and presents and having to take them out to movies and dinner with money that could be better spent on Mopars.
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