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Old 10-02-2000, 11:27 AM
BillyBob BillyBob is offline
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Rules for Driving in New Jersey:

1. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

2. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.

3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in
by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation .

4. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow."

5. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

6. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. The other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing= foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

8. Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the last exit before the traffic= begins to back up.

9. The new electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information. They are only there to make New Jersey look high-tech and to distract you from seeing the police car parked in the median.

10. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

11. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.

12. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

13. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in New Jersey.

****14. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

15. Throwing litter on the roads adds variety to the landscape, keeps the existing litter from getting lonely, and gives Adopt-a-highway crews something to clean up.

16. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially pickup truck drivers with stickers of Calvin peeing on a Ford or Chevy logo.

17. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to NJDOT, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

18. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

19. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.

20. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

21. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

22. Snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.
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  #2  
Old 10-05-2000, 09:29 PM
Tim_K Tim_K is offline
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Those sound pretty good. Here are the ones that particularly apply to my own driving style (A New Jersey driver in Pennsylvania ?):
#'s 1,2,3,6,10,11,11(twice times in my case),16,18,19,21,22.
And: You got to learn to look at the other driver just a little to get him to street race you when the coast is clear and you're both first in line at a red light (on a 4 lane road).
All these other people aren't going anywhere important. ME FIRST!
Make way for the MOPAR!
I'm swerving into your lane in front of you. I'm not worried, you WILL stop for me, unless you want to see what my steel rear bumper will do to your plastic fender.
My disregard for speed limits is made even more intense by the fact that in Pennsylvania, only state police are allowed to have radar, and there aren't many of them around here. Those white lines on the road are just too easy.

Here's an amusing (and true) story:
While driving my '79 Aspen R/T 360-4 home from this year's Mopar Nationals on I-70 East, shortly after crossing into Pa., I saw a sign saying about a construction zone 8 miles ahead. It turned out to be a bridge repair, the 'zone' was only about 200 yards long. 5 miles later, a couple of wussy little signs directed people to all get into the right lane. AND EVERYONE DID IT (except me)! A couple widely spaced orange barrels kept all these people from using the wide open left lane! Well, I wasn't going to do that! I got on the right shoulder, and cruised about 45 mph past 3 MILES OF CARS, all going about 20-25 mph. Passed about a half-dozen Mopars along the way. There were no cops. I owned the lane (paved shoulder). I couldn't believe no one else was doing it! Anyhow, after a while, I needed a break, so I swerved back into the lane to relax and get a drink of Pepsi from my 1 liter bottle. Now refreshed, I pulled out onto the shoulder again. Hmmm, a bridge overpass and on and off ramps about 1/3 mile ahead. Passed a few cars, and some idiot in a Shivvy pickup goes onto the shoulder in front of me. Ok, he's gonna pass them too. He didn't. I went back to the regular lane and so did he. Back to the shoulder and there he goes again! This Shivvy MuthaF'er's trying to cock-block me! Going under the bridge now. A few widely spaced orange barrels to the right of me, and an on-ramp that is LEVEL WITH THE ROAD!!!! HeeHeeHEEHEE! I swerved between 2 barrels at about 30 mph, and put the foot to the floor. The 727 kicked down to first, the 360 wound up, and the Flowmasters sounded GREAT! Caught that guy by surprise, I saw him quickly look over and try to catch up to me, but NO WAY, MAN! I blew him and about 15 other cars away before the on-ramp ended, and continued down the shoulder to the construction zone (about 1/4 mile). Got in line, got through it, and went back to my 80-85 mph cruise home. Oh, what fun. This was Sunday afternoon at about 4:30 p.m. or so, so if you were one of those half-dozen or so Mopars I passed in the 3 mile backup, Hi.
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  #3  
Old 10-06-2000, 03:29 PM
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rumblefish360 rumblefish360 is offline
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Sounds just like N.Y. I just can't understand why most peaple slow to 40 on the hi-way when theres mist out. Try the Belt pkwy. to the Southern state pkwy. in the nice weather to see more Mario A. wanna be's.
They think it's a salom (spelling) course.
To ALL THAT DON'T LIVE IN THE NEW YORK/LONG ISLAND AREA THAT DRIVE TRACTOR TRAILER AND OTHER LARGER TRUCKS, DON'T GET ON . BRIDGES ARE LOW AND WILL ACT LIKE A CAN OPENER TO YOUR RIG. THE TICKETS ARE MORE THAN EXSPENIVE. SOMETIMES THE PEAPLE GET VIOLENT TOWARDS THE OFFENDER AS WELL. THESE ROAD WAYS ARE MARKED BY SIGNS THAT SAY " NO COMMERC.TRAFFIC" BE CAREFUL. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Have a nice drive.
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Old 10-06-2000, 08:00 PM
Tim_K Tim_K is offline
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Biggrin

ram1500: That only applies to other passenger cars. I'm not crazy enough to try cutting in front of a big truck. They don't slow down as fast.
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Old 10-08-2000, 06:17 AM
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rumblefish360 rumblefish360 is offline
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HELL you'll get no arugument from me on that. When i come home from vac. from other states. Well its like jumping into a MAD HOUSE!! Then I hit N.Y.
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  #6  
Old 10-16-2000, 02:15 PM
Marlin Marlin is offline
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They forgot one thing on that list, New Jersey Drivers never ever drive above 45mph, reguardless of State they are in, on any 2-lanbe stretch of blacktop, reguardless of posted speed limit. Up by me they ph33r doing 55mph, some even say they are driving safer by going 45mph in a 55mph...'course most of them continue on into the 30mph at 45mph.

To that guy who was driving up the shoulder, on Friday on the NYS Thruway, I don't know if it was due to an accident or construction, but traffic was moving between 5 and 10mph... Some idiot lady in a minivan rocketed up the shoulder and right into the ass of a 4-Runner. I enjoyed the story but nothing annoys me more than someone blowing by me when I've gotta sit and wait. One other time, a guy was riding up the shoulder in a Ford Escort, hit one of those overpasses where the width of the shoulder is cut in half... Hit it right next to a nice sized Peterbuilt box-truck. Turned his Escort into an Echo.

Sam
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Old 10-16-2000, 04:03 PM
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ramiam ramiam is offline
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all these stories remind me of a time when i was driving home from new york. i was actually in connecticut when it happened. i was driving a 1-ton chevy down the breakdown lane for miles of traffic when a big 18-wheeler,must have thought he was jonny law or something pulled out and clipped my mirror ripping it off. so needless to say i hung around and messed with him a while, i don't think he wanted to rearend the dump body with his pretty fiberglass bumber cover. well anyway he got so pissed off that he followed us off the exit ramp. who do we see but the real jonny law right there, so we pull over and tell him what happened with the truck. he says to just get on and forget about it, ok we say, we take two rights to get back on the highway, when i look in the passenger mirror i see the 18-wheeler right behind me like he's possessed to run me down, under a bridge we go, then i hear a big crunch, look back, holly cow, the rig with his big sleeper and aerodynamic top is just wedged right under the over pass , almost ripped the cab right off the frame.....omg i never laughed so hard in my life...then we see the same cop when we get back on the highway...so we tell him what happened...he says "looks like you guys get the last laugh"...laughed all the way to maine....only cost me $100.- for a mirror...i wonder how much it cost him?
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