The never ending story............(keep it clean)

[BillyBob]

BillyBob was sitting on scrednecks tailgate having a beer one afternoon when they spotted MsDakota99 drivin' by, and behind her was Mopargirl, so they waved and said they were on their way to drop the truck off at the dealership where J-Body works to see if someone else like kpzbee can help to fix this POS.
So on their way back from the dealer........

[Mopargirl]

Mopargirl rear-ends Stoga because Mopargirl and MsDakota99 were too busy checking out Ram1500 who was standing on the side of the road. Mopargirl and Stoga pull off to the shoulder of the road and check for any damage. Other then a nick in Mopargirls paint, there really wasn't any damage. Mopargirl, MsDakota99 and Stoga were standing on the shoulder of the road talking when...

[mopartodd]

Mopartodd, while out chevy hunting in his Coronet, sees this group of intellectually gifted people standing on the shoulder. He pulls off, attracted by the Mopars. He said, "let's go up the road and continue this Moparty". The group mounts up, and with the thunder of exhaust notes, and cloud of tire smoke, the group is off. A short distance up the road they run across....

[SUN RA KAT]

RamRod and Sun Ra Kat trying to figure out how that Viper GTS was able to beat them after they had put in the Magnum R/T cam package. Fortunately, the Ohio Highway Patrol took off after the Viper, but only because it finally passed both RamRod and Sun Ra Kat after they beat the Viper up to 40 MPH due to the mighty torque of their Magnum 360's. Everyone agreed that it would be good to hear some live music so they all went to hear the mighty drummer, RamMan, and his band.

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Kenny

2000 Intense Blue Ram 1500 Quad Cab Sport SLT+, 5.9 L, Auto, 3.55 Sure Grip, Service Group (big battery, transmission oil cooler, & heavy-duty engine cooling), MOPAR tonneau, MOPAR bedliner, MOPAR Ram mudflaps, MOPAR side moldings, Flowmaster 50-series SUV muffler with heat shield, JBA silver ceramic coated headers, Quick D throttle body, K&N Gen II FIPK, MOPAR PCM, 180 degree thermostat, R/T Cam Package (cam & lifters), new valve springs & retainers, and new timing chain, and sometimes a full tank of premium gas.

Did I mention it was INTENSE BLUE?

[Ramrod]

Well, it turns out that the gig that RamMan was playing that evening was near the home of Chris 97SS/T, who was in his driveway trying to figure out where those paint defects on his SS/T had come from. Mopargirl, having just nicked the paint on her truck, suggested that RamMan recently had a new roll pan installed and might be able recommend a good paint shop. That is when BillyBob started looking for a can of Krylon and....

[TANK]

And TANK roles up in his duster with about a thousand cans of half used spray paint because his car has been reprimered a half a dozen times by hand. Then turns and see's someone comming up the road and it looks like...

[This message has been edited by TANK (edited October 19, 2000).]

[RAM MAN]

its RAM MAN - who was late to the gig - with his drums bouncing all around in the truck bed. He and the RAM M'AM would have loved to stay for icy cold one, but had to get to the show. So Billybob tossed a couple in for later and RAM MAN tore out in a tire smoking blast. When the smoke cleared you could see . . .

[JoeD]

Uncle Fester in a tubbed hemi hearse. He asks where he can get a good race in this one horse town, and proceeds to do a smokey burnout and throw empty cans of Schlitz out the window. He then stages and waits when out of the corner of his eye he sees...

[abalto]

...Mopargirl pointing to two guys with slingshots that are shooting candy fireballs at a neighbors house. She then yells, "what the hell are you guys doing!"...and then she says...

[Mopargirl]

"Idiots!" She turns to everyone and says, "Can you believe these people?" "What kind of whacked out neighbors do you have,Chris 97SS/T?" Ignoring the psychos shooting the fireballs out the window, she returns to the party. That's when...

[adare88]

adare88 comes flying through the hedges in Chris 97SS/T's back yard and slides to a stop just in time to get hit in the windshield with a candy fireball. Angered by this adare88 switches to 4WD low and floors it, spraying chucks of Chris97SS/t's lawn and garden at the sling shot artists. just as adare88's tires finally stop spinning.....

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Trevor Adair
<A HREF="http://helios.whro.org/~adare/myram2.jpg" TARGET=_blank>2000 Dodge Ram Sport 4X4
Reg Cab 318</A>
Mopar Performance Cat Back, Mopar Performance Cold Air Intake. Tafco Moulded Running Boards, Dodge Bedliner, All Decals Removed.

[BillyBob]

He decides to RamItHard into reverse and do some doughnuts out in the street but his catalytic converter is starting to give him problems so he starts to drive away more calmly and visit RAM360SST but he can't go inside due to the fact that he caught a virus somehow and has been quarateened for 10 days......So he decides to have some more fun and drive over RufustheRam's dorm but on the way he stops at Jon Smith's to find out if he needs any more help puting the final touches back on his truck. Jon was inside again havin some doughnuts and coffee so he offered him the same but was out of sugar and had to use SweelnLow in his coffee
instead. So, Jon said "thanks for stopping by, I can finish it from here since all the hard work is behind me."
Finally he arrives at RufustheRam's place and they decide to go down to the parts store to pick some other goodies up when they spot RobertC walking up and down the street with signs saying "WWW.RPM REV LIMITER LAWSUIT.COM" and being the evil guys there are, they pick up speed to run through that big muddy puddle that he is walking near and gets drenched from head to foot with most of what was in the puddle. Not wanting to stay around the scene too long, they split and continue up the block were....

[ramiam]

The whole convoy just happens to catch ramiam
waxing his lil' white beauty at the local car wash. So everyone pulls in to say hi, when out of the blue, this (we'll just call it a ford)lightning pulls in. Just as fast as he pulls in and looks at all these mean ass DODGE's, the ford owner realizes his mistake when......

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1997 Ram Sport
318 auto reg cab
2wd 3.55
clear corner lenses
extang tonneau
285/60-16 Goodyear GTII
still stock

[Jon_Smith]

Jon Smith hooks his tow strap to the back of the Lightenings, throws the Tcase in 4lo and tows the "L" around the parkinglot backwards. At a loss for traction, the L hops and bounces around like a 2 year old on a sugar high. As I lay into the Dixie horns to let the Ferd driver know what's up...

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Jon Smith
Cary, NC
educating the stupid, one kill at a time (quoteth Chuck)
www.fast4x4.net

[chevykillr]

Chevykillr rolls in with his off-road lights blinding the driver of the "L"...but it wasn't blinding, it made him see the light and trade that "L" in on a nice RAM...chevykillr thinks he mighta impressed MoparGirl with his sleek black RAM and the power to convert the ford owner to a MoparNut...

[RufusTheRam]

after a wash from the puddle and a couple of hondas later, RufusTheRam cruises by Mopargirl's to see ram1500's truck parked out front. feeling this was an exclusive meeting, he kept on going to come up on chevykillr being kind enough to lay some fresh dark black to the faded grey blacktop to vent his frustration over Mopargirl. after a friendly wave, Rufus heads on over to get Youngin for some down and dirty four wheelin. after an exhausting few hours of pulling brand x out of puddles, they head on down to the local fast food joint where BillyBob and RAM MAN are about to stage up for "king of the ram truck moderators"...

[goldduster]

Just as Billy Bob and RAM MAN line lock and do a 35 second burnout, here comes goldduster, who picks up mopargirl and TANK to watch the race from the rear. goldduster opens his exaust cutouts and...

[ram100]

They all take off and down the road going up to 100 mph when they see ram100 waving wildly so they stop and he joins the group. But everyone knows his truck isn't fast enough because he needs and overdrive, so they flip a coin and he ends up riding with Ram Man. They all take off again............................

[WEDGEMAN3]

RamMan is really eating up asphalt,he and his new co-driver Ram100 notice a huge shadow
crossing the road just ahead.They both look skyward and cant believe what they are seeing.Its WEDGEMAN3 and his giant Wedge-Powered BLIMP. WEDGEMAN3 drops down close to the road then announces over his P.A. system;
Ive been overhead all day trying to get your attention....,I need to know something very important.....,am I imagining this or does that MOPARGIRL have a problem making up her mind ???? and whats up with that flaming candy thing.....,and one more thing.....,
HOW THE #/^* DO I LAND THIS THING ?!?!
Just as WEDGEMAN3 said that there was a
huge backfire from the BLIMPS one of a kind custom made exsaust ,WEDGEMAN screamed
OH MY GOD!!!! and then.........

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WEDGEMAN3

[RAM MAN]

RAM MAN goes to race BillyBob. The lights flash and BB goes tearing down the strip. RAM MAN's truck stalled at the light and he gets out and pops the hood, scratching his head. "I don't understand it" he said - I was going to surprise everyone with this alcohol blown 750HP motor - what happened ?" - the the RAM M'AM said, "Sorry honey, I had a blonde moment - we are drinking the alcohol that I should have poured in the tank." RAM MAN said "I thought my Canadian Mist tasted a little different today . . . " and the drink caused him to see . . .

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"Good Luck on your project."

Mid Michigan MOPAR Enthusiasts

[This message has been edited by RAM MAN (edited October 28, 2000).]

[goldduster]

...that it wasn't that he didn't have alcohol in the gas tank, but he had diesel fuel. In discust, he kicks his truck and jumps in goldduster's car with Mopargirl and TANK, and pops open a cold one. They take off after Billy Bob...

[WEDGEMAN3]

HEY DOWN THERE !!!!! HELLLLLLLLP !!!
I CANT LAND THIS THING !!!!!!!!
I THINK THE STRAPS HOLDING ALL THOSE KEGS OF BEER I HAVE IN THE STORAGE HOLD BROKE AND SOME OF THE KEGS FELL ON THE HYDRAULIC LINE THAT OPERATES THE LANDING GEAR !!!! i MAY NEED TO THROW SOME KEGS OUT OF THE CARGO BAY,
i REALLY NEED SOME HELLLLLLLLP !!!!

IS THIS THING ON ??!!??!!

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WEDGEMAN3

[BillyBob]

As WEDGEMAN3 approaches the ground rapidly a crew from Holoman A.F. base shows up with Gouge97 in charge and assures him that he will have a safe and happy landing because they've rescued others from this same plight. Fortunately none of the beer kegs got broken so it was party-time but big problem!!!!!!!!!!who's got the tap for the kegs?????????

[chevykillr]

Chevykillr shows back up after a hard day at school with a cooler and 2 cases of Miller Light...and remembers he has his tap from last Thursday night's party at school...

[RufusTheRam]

never leaving home without it, RufusTheRam pulls up with his trusty tap and his free ford truck he got a while back. letting RAM MAN vent his frustrations on it with a piece of pipe, like RufusTheRam did after NCSU's loss to FSU, the party starts right. beer, mopars, and the senseless beating of brand x...

[ramiam]

here comes ramiam to join the party, with his new extang tonneau pealed back and a truckload of hawaiian tropic models pouring out the back. with a smile from ear to ear ramiam jumps out and says "sorry it took me so long to get here, but i got side-tracked, let the fun begin"...

[goldduster]

goldduster institutes a burnout contest for distance. goldduster's 318 does a 60 ft burnout for the temporary lead...

[RufusTheRam]

RufusTheRam heads home in his ford, or what's left of it, to pick up the 340/4speed duster and join in the burnout fun. with 4.11's, a locked up rear, and a fresh edelbrock 4 barrel, he gives goldduster a run for his money...

[scredneck]

and while Ram1500 is busy showing off...SCredneck wraps a rope around his rear bumper drags him backwards for about 90 feet thus performing the TWO best burnouts of the evening at once...