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Little Johnny Collection
Some old some new.....
Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls. Could you please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this." So Little Johnny's mother takes him by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door. "First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse..." So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off. "Take off my skirt..." Little Johnny takes off her skirt. "Take off my bra." He takes off her bra. "Now, Johnny, please take off my panties." When Little Johnny is finally done taking off the clothes, she says, "Johnny, Please don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!" ************************************************** ************************************************** *** One day, the teacher asked her class 'What vegetable makes you cry?' Little Johnny replies "a turnip". "No Johnny' says the teacher, "Onions make you cry, not turnips" "No Miss" Says Johnny, "Have you never been hit in the balls with a turnip?" ************************************************** ************************************************** *** Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!" ************************************************** ************************************************** **** Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, saying, "Johnny, this is where you came from." Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting that all his friends now refer to him as "Lucky Johnny." "Why?" one asked. Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being a turd". ************************************************** ************************************************** **** Little Johnny returned from school and saying he got an 'F' in Math. "Why?" asked his father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'" "But that's right!", said his dad, upset at the injustice. "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the f*@#%! difference?" asked his dad. Little Johnny replied "That's exactly what I said!" ************************************************** ************************************************** ** A door-to-door salesman comes-a-knocking and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers, a beer in one hand and a lit cigar in the other. The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mommy home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What the hell do you think?" ************************************************** ************************************************** *** Little Johnny is sitting in biology class, when his teacher states the fact that only humans stutter, and no other animal in the world does. Johnny raises his hand and says. "You're wrong, Miss Finch!" "Really, would you mind telling us why that is Johnny?," replies the teacher. "Well, Miss Finch, the other day I was playing with my cat on the porch. The neighbors' Rottweiler came around the corner, and my cat went "fffff! fffff! fffff!", and before he could say "F**k!", the dog ate him!" |
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